Do you often feel stuck with decision making due to having too many choices? When these choices could be life-changing and extremely important, it’s natural to feel anxious and worried. This indecision can lead to stress and paralysis, making it difficult to move forward. If this sounds like you, this post is here to help.
Resilience and decision making
Becoming resilient involves facing challenges and learning how to deal with stress. This inevitably means having to make difficult choices. Altough decision making can be stressful, simple guide below should help you navigate this challenge. With practice, you will become good at weighing relevant options leading to better and efficient decision making. This will lead you to make progress on your path to achieving your vision.
It’s good to have choices
Having multiple choices can be overwhelming, but it’s essential to remember that it’s better to have options than none. Imagine only having one choice that isn’t ideal for you. In such a scenario, you wouldn’t need much time to think it over or make a decision; you’d simply proceed. However, this single option might not lead you to your goals or could take much longer. Hence, having a variety of choices is a positive thing.
Being grateful for the abundance of choices is the first step in dealing with the dilemma of indecision. It’s easy to feel paralysed by numerous options, especially when the stakes are high. But remember, having choices means you have the power to shape your future.
Why you struggle with decision making
To understand indecisiveness, let’s look at the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) model, which consists of thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms, and actions.
In the context of having too many choices, your thoughts might be filled with doubts and fears: “What if I make a mistake? What if I choose the wrong one? What will others think of me?” These thoughts can lead to feelings of fear, worry, and apprehension. Physically, you might experience symptoms like a racing heart, exhaustion, and a sense of paralysis.
These combined thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations often lead to indecision. The purpose of this inaction is to let external circumstances force your hand, such as making a last-minute decision due to a deadline. Understanding this process is crucial for overcoming indecisiveness.
Coping with stress
Recognise that your indecisiveness stems from stress and unaddresed feelings. The first strategy in dealing with this situation is to process and reduce emotional overload. Here are some ways to do this:
Talk to Someone: Find someone you trust and talk about your situation, feelings, and the options you’re facing. Sharing your thoughts can help untangle the mental knots and bring clarity. Talking to multiple people over time can further clarify your thoughts.
Write It Down: If you can’t talk to anyone, writing down your thoughts can be equally beneficial. Break down your dilemma into the four aspects: thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and actions. Revisiting these notes after a day or two can provide new insights.
Engage in Stress-Reducing Activities: Identify activities that help you feel calmer. This could be taking a break, spending time with family or friends, engaging in a hobby, or doing something entirely different from the decision-making process. Lowering your stress levels allows your reasoning and logic to function better.
Reconnect with logic
Once you understand the issue and have reduced your stress, it’s time to reconnect with the logical part of your brain. Despite lingering feelings of stress, create a space where you can focus purely on reasoning.
List Your Options: Write down all the different options, along with their advantages and disadvantages. Assign a scoring system to evaluate each option purely from a logical standpoint.
Gather More Information: If needed, seek more information about each option. Discuss these options with trusted friends, family members, or mentors. Their input can help identify any gaps in your reasoning.
But which way to go?
Begin with the End in Mind: This principle, often used in management and leadership, involves visualising your desired future state. What do you want to achieve in the future? For example, if you’re choosing between different training programs for your career, think about what you want to accomplish eventually. Which option is most likely to get you to that future state?
Rank Your Options: Once you’ve identified your end goal, rank your options based on their potential to help you achieve that goal. Consider whether the disadvantages of the chosen option are worth the price for your future goal.
Trust Your Process: After making a decision, discuss it with the people whose opinions you value. Refine your decision based on their feedback. Once you’ve made your decision, trust in your method and end goal, and proceed without looking back.
“Once you make a decision, put your trust in Allah. Surely Allah loves those who trust in Him.”
Qur’an, Chapter Al Imran, 3:159
Conclusion
If you’re feeling paralysed by choices, acknowledge that having options is a positive thing. Use the CBT model to make sense of your thoughts and feelings, and employ strategies to manage stress. Once you’re calmer, use logical reasoning to evaluate your options and keep your end goal in mind. Discuss your decision with trusted individuals and trust in your process.
Remember, we only regret the choices we didn’t take in life. By following these steps, you can move from indecision to confident decision-making.
FAQs
What should I do if I feel overwhelmed by choices?
- Take a step back and process your emotions. Talk to someone you trust or write down your thoughts to untangle them.
How can I reduce stress when making decisions?
- Engage in activities that help you feel calmer, such as taking breaks, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies.
Why is it important to list the pros and cons of each option?
- Listing the pros and cons helps you evaluate each option logically and make an informed decision.
What if I’m still unsure after evaluating my options?
- Begin with the end in mind. Visualise your desired future state and choose the option that aligns best with your long-term goals.
How can talking to others help in decision-making?
- Discussing your options with trusted individuals can provide new perspectives and insights, helping you make a more informed decision.
Why is it important to trust the decision-making process?
- Trusting the process helps you move forward confidently and avoid second-guessing your choice, which can lead to further indecision.